Can't Catch Up
by Fireware
Summary: Water, if left in the cold for too long, eventually freezes. As Jackie spends the first Holidays without three of the coolest people she ever met, she feels herself feeling colder and colder.
1. From Mermaid to Yukijoro

**This is an idea that have been swimming in my head for a while. It's a prompt on SVTFOD on a Winter Fic! Sorry if it's a little rough, my beta reader wasn't around...well, let me not keep you for long! Enjoy!**

* * *

Jackie Lynn Thomas was someone that a lot of people would consider cool.

Jackie herself mostly shrugs this off, and simply likes to say she takes life each step at a time, but she supposes her carefree way of living gives this image of her, and she has to admit, a big part of her does enjoys when people think of that way of her.

She rubs a bit the seashell around her neck, a present of her uncle, owner of a beach house in Jamaica. She never really learned much about surfing itself, to the surprise of many, but mostly because Echo Creek's shores are way, way too rocky to be reliably surfed, and the nearest beach is plenty of miles away.

Sure, she did get some practice on school trips, and on the rare cases her Uncle was around, and could take her to an actual beach, but those were few and far between…

Her parents didn't really have a lot of time, being investors, travelling abroad constantly and buying and selling businesses to the highest bidder, so for her, her Uncle visits and presents were definitely highlights...the solution of it being shown on her twelfth birthday, with her first skate.

In a way, skating came as a close alternative, and that's how she fell in love with it...in a way, navigating between the concrete jungle was just as daring as taming the waves, wasn't it?

Well, whatever. She's getting off-tracked.

Some would even say she's an odd person. A year ago she would have thought about it for a while, before shrugging it off; sure, her interests run against a lot of girls in Echo Creek: she has no interest in long hair, or fancy dresses, she doesn't think **all** classes are boring, just those that involve y'know...numbers, and she isn't really in Britney's Phone Contacts; she's pretty sure that the only reason she was even invited at all was because of her reputation as being...cool.

Cool. That had a lot of different ways to be interpreted, and for a matter of perspective she might look cool.

But...she's not really cool. At least, not anymore. Or in the sense that mattered to her.

Jackie stares out of her own room, watching as the neighbors set up the holiday decorations; she always found odd how some did like to make snowmen on their lawns, even though by all rights, it shouldn't snow on Echo Creek at all; some would even go the full mile and use fake snow, even thought that should be complete hell to clean up…

She should go out a little bit, maybe see the holiday decorations! It's getting kind of hot in her room, anyway.

Yeah, the time outside feels just right anyway. Going downstairs, she shouts to anyone at their home "Hey! I'm going to the park, I'll be back later!" but no one replies. She doesn't really mind that much, they went early to work, they're probably being held up...they'll surely make it to Christmas Eve. With a clear mind, Jackie picks up her skate, and starts going down her house's street. The weather outside is just right, indeed.

* * *

Alright, where was she? Alright! She doesn't really consider herself that cool anymore. Some would think it as self-depreciation, but it's just facts.

Janna is cool: the girl has this loose, calm air about her much like Jackie, but she constantly feels like a confident predator, and the entire world's her prey; she finds the teasing she has on Marco to be cute, as well as her _legendary_ pranks around Echo Creek! Janna Ordonia earned her lifetime seat at detection time, and she wears it with a pride like an actor that just won their Oscar.

As in, the prize. Not the actual Oskar. That would be weird.

She never paid much attention to her before, but after this year? How wouldn't she, whenever Janna was around, Jackie knew a fun story was being written, or already happened!

Oh, she should be around home right now, shouldn't she? Jackie redirects her path, heading towards Janna's house; Her parents are really unlike her, fairly shy and normal, their house not having any of the extravagant light shows, and simple, almost timid decoration, like bells, elves, this kind of things. She stops her skate by the door, and knocks on it.

It doesn't take long for Janna's mother to appear, a tall, thin woman with short, bobcat raven hair, green eyes and wearing a "Jingle my Bells" sweater, with two mugs of Eggnog on her hand, christmas carols playing inside the house. She looks at the teen with a warm, motherly smile.

"Oh, Jackie, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing great, Ms. Ordonia! Is Janna around?"

The both of them never really hanged around much, but she feels she really should make her Eve something memorable! No better way than with her!

"Oh...I'm sorry, but Janna already left?"

Huh?

"O-oh...with whom?"

"You know, that Marco fellow. She just made her bag, and those weird scissors she told us it was from Marco's, and that she was spending Christmas with them on this...Mewni."

For a moment, she felt nothing...Y-yeah, he could actually do that, couldn't he? The scissors...so he's...calling his friends to spend the holidays with him. She shivers a bit, unconsciously pulling her scarf tighter around her neck, and rubbing her arms,

"Oh...I see. W-well, thank you anyway Ms. Ordonia. Tell Mr. Ordonia I said hi!" She turns, already aligning her skate on the ground.

"If you see Janna, tell her to spend a week there! Me and her father are going to San Francisco this week!" She shouts, as Jackie moves away from the house, a thumbs up the sign of acknowledgement between both of them.

She highly doubts she'll really get to tell Janna that.

* * *

Mewni, huh?

It's the place Star came from right?

I guess it shouldn't be surprising they have their own version of the Holidays, every fictional show set somewhere also have those for the christmas specials, and Star is a walking living proof that those cartoons are a reality somewhere.

She wonder what she's doing right now. Probably really, really happy that Marco's with her. They probably are even dating right now, the thought of it really, really hurting her...but surprisingly enough, she doesn't feel like blaming either Marco, or Star really.

She feels a numbness on her fingers, and brings her to her mouth, breathing on them and rubbing to help get some feeling back...odd, it's colder than she thought it was…

Star Butterfly. She was already odd when she first appeared, casting her spells everywhere and causing all sorts of shenanigans...she laughs a bit, remembering how she found that student taken away by the pterodactyl, hanging on a tree for dear life; that is another person Jackie finds genuinely cool.

After Marco and Jackie started talking more, specially after that Naysaya shenanigan, she heard a lot of tales about their adventures together...that Jackie already admired Marco's bravery before she did, but her respect for Marco and Star just drew bigger and bigger as they recounted their tales, the Monster Attacks, this "Ludo" and "Toffee", about their raids in the castle and how they almost died.

It's kind of terrifying, how many times Marco can honestly say he almost died. She panics over missing a maneuver, and Marco felt genuine death in front of his eyes…

Pity she isn't around here anymore, her sheer presence around the city made each day feel unique. She can still feel the tension, the rush of adrenaline on that cemetery, after Marco's kiss, with that weird portal and the rats sucking Star's Book away. How that bird person, Ludo she thinks, almost killed one of her friends, and how they simply gave their all to get her off of the black hole.

Star's crestfallen expression didn't make that memory as pleasant however...and the more recent events just made it fairly more bitter...she wished she noticed her crush on Marco sooner; it was inevitable, really, considering how much time they spent together, and the struggles they went through, this was the kind of bond that, as much as it hurted Jackie, would never replicate; Jackie didn't have kick-ass magic, or a kingdom, or lived in a magic dimension.

She was just Jackie Lynn Thomas, Skater Girl. At least Marco had the karate back on the graveyard, all Jackie had was her skate!

On the distance, Jackie could see the Diazes house, but she decided to simply pass by through. The lights are off, so there is no one home after all. Clouds start to gather in the sky, blocking off the sun; if she knew it would have started to get this cold, she would have brought up a sweater!

* * *

Marco Ubaldo Diaz. A boy that, by all means, looked somewhat bland. For years in Echo Creek he was simply the Safe Boy. Nowadays, that nickname is just ironic.

She already admired him before, he never gave up as she admitted to him on their date, and he was just such a lovable dork as she got to know him better...but, after Star came, and all their stories, and specially the one he told _just_ for her.

This lady, Hekapoo, that keeps these dimensional scissors that Star used, kidnapped him because the knives she used weren't truly hers. Marco, then decides to simply get his own scissors so Star and him can keep doing his thing…

Sounds little, but when Jackie was informed of the context of this adventure, her flooring fell completely through. To this day, she couldn't really ever imagine someone doing something like that for lil' ol' her…

She notices she's actually reached the coast, and the sun's starting to set. Huh. She can hear the children outside, as well as the couples, all of them with their held hands, enjoying the holidays in the company of...someone. Family, lovers, friends…none of them shivering as much as her. Jackie hugs herself, stopping her skating and deciding to tread on foot, as to avoid hitting any of the passersby, heading to a very familiar bench with a very familiar sight.

The sun's setting, so she should be around just in time; she passes by a simple wooden stand, bells and small santas decorating the table, one of the toy santas even singing a little bit. Shrugging, she buys to herself a warm cup of hot cocoa, and sits by the bench she sat together with him, those memories coming as if they were from yesterday.

Marco spent...sixteen years hunting after Hekapoo. Hunting after someone across multiple dimensions, having all sorts of adventures and quests that while he says he doesn't remember them very well, something about how the Scissor Lady dimension. He also said he got a hot bod, but the fact that he spent sixteen years...that is more than she is even alive.

Marco Ubaldo Diaz is spent adventuring more time than she has ever been alive. Her admiration and, frankly, crush for him just went completely sky-rocket, and after Star's confession, the final nail on Jackie's own self-doubts were confirmed;

Jackie couldn't match up with Star. She really couldn't provide with the new, adventurous, intense Marco experiences he now craves, and neither could Earth itself; Marco was a free spirit, and belonged out there, in the multiverse. Right here, he would just rot. No amount of skating lessons, or extreme sports, or world travels, or hikes, or truly...anything could amount to the adventures he had.

But she was selfish, and wanted to try. Hell, a part of her just didn't want to give up. Someone like him was simply amazing, and she was _his_ girlfriend! He changed a lot, but he was still the same Marco she fell for...wasn't he?

But, when he came back from yet another adventure, of how he told everyone about this massive war on Mewni, and how they finally defeated Toffee...well, she realized that Marco Diaz, the Safe Boy, was truly, truly dead. Instead, was a bonafide backside kicker Karate Warrior; he couldn't shut up about the adventures on Mewni, and everyone got tired of it...except her, really. He was really cute when he was excited; how his hands would just fly explaining the "war", and his dorky tries to re-enact the moment when Star seemingly came from the **dead** , and fired this massive laser beam that just melted him, and defeated him for good.

 _How..._ How was that any fair? How could she really compare herself, to all that? Her teeth grates, and for a moment she really despises the both of them. For simply...showing her what truly is out there, and making her feel so...insignificant. What could she possibly back up, her life was utterly dull compared to hers.

Surfing? Nothing. Skating? Nothing. Nothing she ever did could ever match the thrill she felt on that day, and even then, that must have been nothing but a particularly rough day for the two of them, wasn't it?

...No. She's pulling the emergency line on that line of thought; is she really that spiteful to blame Marco and Star for simply having adventures? Marco and Star were lucky to be able to have that. She wasn't.

She is just a simple human being, that most likely wasn't supposed to even know about this on the first place.

She stops by another stand on the pier, buying the first winter jacket she even saw at those stands...a simple black cotton jacket with some chains; she ignores the looks she's definitely getting as she shivers, almost shoving the money on the attendant's face, wearing the jacket and heading back to the pier.

The Jacket helps a bit, but it's not enough.

She wanted that too, she came to realize. In a way, perhaps Jackie always did, even before encountering Marco: the thrill of the adrenaline, the exploring of the unknown, as some might say. It's why she loved hearing those stories, again and again, to a point that...the everyday just felt incredibly dull.

Isn't it funny, how she and Marco came unconsciously to the same conclusion, yet only one of them really had the means to really see what life **truly** had to offer.

She started feeling worse, not even bothering with trying to heat herself anymore, letting the coldness hit her bare. The time with the princess being quite short, and their last interaction together being simply witnessing her confession to her boyfriend.

But it really just sank her to the cruel realization, that Marco belonged with Star. And she was just being selfish by keeping him here; she really appreciated his tries, he really really did, but everyone saw it. She simply was the one that spoke it to his face, and let him go.

And the next day, as if on a big swoop, Marco Diaz and Star Butterfly were completely and officially out of her life. And the void they left couldn't really be fulfilled.

She sits down by the bench, holding her skate for dear life, a lifeline on the whirlpool of emotions that threatens her "coolness" facade. Jackie Lynn Thomas, after all, isn't someone that just cries randomly, after all. The cutesy red-nosed reindeer statue, the christmas carols and snowflake lamps are details to her, as she sees the sun setting…

She came to a conclusion. Jackie didn't really blame none of her friends, she just blames herself. She can't really catch up.

Jackie Lynn Thomas is someone that a lot of people would consider cool. But, she knew actually really cool people, so that sentence just feels hollow. She isn't cool, she's just normal. And she hates that so much.

Her phone rings, and she pulls it up, tapping the screen slightly as to check the message. Ah, her parents are going to work the Holiday Eve...again...the promises of her mother of presents and how "they're definitely going to try to be for New Years" fall on hollow ears, or more like hollow eyes, as she simply turns off her cellphone, and pockets it. She silently towards the pier's parapet, and gazes at the blue, wide ocean…and for once, wonder if she just jumps down, she'll find some sort of ancient, sunken kingdom beneath Echo Creek. That was an adventure, right? A sort of adventure she and Marco could've had together, with arc villains, mooks, karate, maybe her skate would turn into some sort of surfing board, that can guide waves with the power of her mind…

Droplets fall from her eyes as she hugs herself closer, letting the floodworks simply fall, she doesn't care anymore.

Jackie Lynn Thomas isn't cool. Marco is. Star is. Janna is. She's just a lonely girl, spending a Christmas Eve's Alone.

Huh. Perhaps she's cool after all...she feels pretty cold. Wait, is it snowing…?

Jackie Lynn Thomas look upwards, seeing the clouds and small snowflakes start to descend from the sky. She's not the only one, the others looking as confused, some scratching their heads as the last rays of the sun reflects against the snow, as if trying to extend it's light as far and as long as it possibly can before the night finally begins. Some of them even fall on her tear stained expression…

It's...beautiful. Really. Earth was still a pretty great place, wasn't it?

...but yet...

She wipes her tears, and stays there for a while, watching the extremely rare snowfall on the tropical city, and silently hoping if the snow could...just wash over her feelings. Wash over her memories of Mewni, of Monsters, of Magic...of Marco. Star. Janna.

It doesn't do anything really.

She'll just sit down there, for all eternity, feeling sorry for herself, while her friends are having the time of their lives, some dimensions away. She'll just smile...and wave, and pretend everything's okay, like she did with Marco. She...doesn't want to return to school.

She doesn't want to just make new friends, and listen to their tales about the time their skate broke, or when the slided down a hill with a shopping cart, all of that doesn't-

The cold stops. She's numb now, and looks down on the sea, silently wondering how the lobsters she fred from that restaurant ought to be doing...exploring, having their own adventures? Most likely eaten, to be honest.

She wants to have her own adventures. She really, really does. There's nothing really tying her to Echo Creek anymore, is there? The city will just eventually snap back to normal, and forget Marco and Star ever existed. She touches her own face, wiping the last mark of her tears with the thumb, and takes yet again the phone out of her pocket, re-reading the message for the last time. She tabs out of the message app, going through the gallery and seeing each picture with her dearest friends, be them on the Love Sentence show, or the time on the sewage, or in School…the first genuine smile graces her expression, the fondness of the memories off-setting the pain these memories caused, and drove her to the point she is right now.

She balls it up in a fist, and aims the cellphone at the ocean, arm trembling and teeth gritted, as she tries to muster the courage...to let go. To let Marco, Star and Janna to go, to let all the past year of her experience to be this weird fever dream. Just be another citizen on Echo Creek, another _cog on this dull machine that can't bring her anything anymore!_

With a frustrated scream, she simply throws her phone on the ground, and falls on her knees, crying. The snow is seemingly pilling up faster than she thought it was, her phone still intact on the ground...for the first time in her life, she actually curses paying up for impact proofness. She can't let go.

Guess she's more like Marco than she gave herself credit to, isn't she?

With a bitter laugh, she gets up, picking her phone and walking away from the pier.

She can't let go of her feelings. But she knows exactly one thing she can let go off.

* * *

 **By all means, the fic can end here if you so wish. The next chapter is more of an optional ending, but I personally do think it happened. But do tell me what you thought of it!**


	2. Bye Bye at Bon Bon's Grave

**This is more of an alternative continuation, the story ends perfectly well on the last chapter...but sometimes, it's one's own sadness that leads to the greatest of adventures.**

* * *

In the silent stillness of the Graveyard, the snow piles on top of the graves, some broken from the recent 'bout that happened in it, Bon-Bon's grave still empty, the ghost lost within the void. Dull thuds echo around the graveyard, however, as her work boots break the fallen twigs, as well as the crunch of the snow, and Jackie appears yet again in a scene that, for quite a while, was the background of many of her dreams and nightmares.

In many of them, she did a lot more for them. She impressed them, used her skate tricks to keep the rat army away, and pulled Star like a true heroine. In others, Star was lost, or the rats actually got to her, or Marco pulled too late and the black hole clos-

Putting a stop to that line of thought, it leads to nowhere well. She finally reaches the grave of the clown, where Janna was trying to see it rise from the dead...one detail she did see, is that Ludo dropped...something here, that the others didn't see. She lowers herself, and digs through the snow, watchful eyes analyzing her work, until she finds a metallic glint, and pulls a scissor.

More specifically, Ludo's Scissor.

She opens it, seeing her reflection at the metal...her hair is on a ponytail, and she's wearing her jacket, as well as baggy, olive-brown pants and her dark work boots. She...feels cold, numb, her fingers barely feeling the handle of the scissor, but the inner turmoil of earlier is gone. She can't help but give a quick, sad laugh, as the thought of leaving everything behind sounds insane, and how days after breaking up with Marco, and "letting him go", and here she is, dropping everything and everyone. For a chance to live the same thrill her friends are living. Will she meet this Hekapoo too, and get her own scissors? That's how Marco got his own, from using one from someone else, right?

This is stupid. This whole thing is stupid.

She can still go back. She really, really can. She thoughts, as she mutters the only extra dimensional plane she's ever been, and cuts the scissors through thin air, the swirly hypnotic colors enticing her. This is stupid, this is impulsive, she's only doing this because she's jealous of them; she knows better than that, she'll only be hurting her own family…

She checks the message again, and gets all self-assurance she needs.. She scowls, turning it on the back, and taking off the battery, picking only the SD card, and dropping the rest of the phone on the floor, as she adjusts the leather strap on her side with few belongings, and crosses the portal, which soon closes behind her. Jacky Lynn Thomas is tired of hearing stories from others.

Time to make her own.

The snowstorm stopped soon after that, and the daily, normal life of Echo Creek ensued.

* * *

 **Hope you liked it!**


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